Lets get together.. yeah yeah yeah

“Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend "  

                                                        -Theophrastus

April came, went and already we are speeding through May. Can anyone make time stand still for little bit? These months where Richard is present and accounted for are so awesome. We get to have dinner together as much as we want, we get to lay in the hammock, piddle in the yard, watch Game Of Thrones or snuggle with our puppy— TOGETHER! 

Kentucky Derby Party May 2 2015

Medical School Graduation 2014

Time is such a precious gift. The time we spend together during “good months”  is great but sometimes it is exhausting. Not because we spend too much time together but because we are constantly going and doing. His months of electives are so rare that we feel the need to visit with people, go out and do things in Greenville or attend family functions and because of that, our quality time together suffers. We didn’t have a single weekend together last month that we weren’t “overbooked” with events.  This is a topic of conversation that Richard and I have recently been talking a lot about… we pride ourselves on being available to spend time with important people in our lives but are trying to learn how to be a little more selfish about our time together.  Learning how to say “no” is difficult and we both have guilt about it when we actually do say it.  In a perfect world, there would be more elective months with free weekends, but at least for the next few years that is not an option. So learning how to not overbook ourselves is our new goal together. We  love and appreciate all of the wonderful people in our support system, but we need to continue to grow together during this journey. 

Luka

Believe it or not, intern year is rapidly coming to a close.  This week last year, we were celebrating his medical school graduation. It amazes me that a full year has come and gone already.  Beginning
in July, Richard will no longer be the low man on the totem pole. He will have more responsibilities, will be held more accountable for things (don’t know how that’s possible but it is) and his hours will be different than intern year. I’m not banking on it being any better than intern year but I don’t think it could be any worse.  In this life, we have to take the positives and run with them.

Richard cutting my Shanmama's yard
in Denver at the end of April

We are still waiting for his schedule for the next year of residency. Every day (jokingly) I ask him, “do you have your schedule yet”? Every day he answers “no”. This has been a frustrating experience because there are things going on in the next year in our life that we are trying to attend (together)… we’ve got weddings and family things that he would like to attend and we still have no clue.  We have a big wedding in July and now we are within the required 60 day time frame for requesting off (should it be an elective month) and he has no clue if it’s even a possibility.   I am unsure of how many electives he'll have in the upcoming year, but I hope there are lots of them and that they are spread out. It is amazing how much of a difference a "good month" aka elective rotation can make for Richard, for me and for us. I love seeing him smile, laugh and just enjoy his outside of the hospital life. Richard does love his 90 hour a week months in the hospital and he learns so much during that time, but sometimes we need a respite for rejuvenation purposes.

Richard wearing his birthday bow tie from
his grandma!

At the end of May Richard will be taking his Step 3 Board Exams. Every night he spends some time going over questions and trying to prepare for this big important exam. Should Richard have a desire to do a fellowship, doing well on this test is essential.  Please keep him in your thoughts/prayers this month as he prepares and sits for this 2 days exam.  At the end of the month we head to Disney for the final weekend of this elective month. June 1st begins a busy month and immediately jumps into him staying at the hospital for nights. Guess Luka will be getting used to the bed again!


As always, thank you for following us on this adventure. Richard loves his work at GHS and as his wife it brings me so much joy to know that he is pursuing a career that makes him happy. Thank you for tolerating the unknown of what each month will bring and for remaining unwavering in your support. 

March MADNESS

Thank goodness Richard is finished with this last rotation. Today I finally began to see signs that my

Selfies helped me see him 

sweet husband was still alive inside of his exhausted frame.  The past month has flown by (as it seems each month does) but for both of us, the months end was welcomed with open arms. Throughout the month, Richard's alarm chimed everyday around 3:15 am or 3:30 and he was out the door before I could even recover from his alarm going off.  He would come home on average around 7 pm. Of course, there are were a few days when he came home around 6:15 but more often this rotation there were later days. He would come home pale and exhausted having worked so hard to do his best for the patients. Richard is 100% of the time a more positive, peppy and encouraging individual than myself and this month it was hard to see him so tired from his hospital life.  The cause: lots of difficult cases, challenging patients/families and the constant need to give 200% to every case.  When he walked into the house last night after work, he had a look of relief on his face that he (we) had survived what he considers his worst month yet.

Richard is on an elective rotation now and he was home by 5:30 tonight. Hurray!!!!  He smiled, laughed, cooked me a great dinner and for the first time in 30ish days, he did not have dictations or computer documentation to do post dinner.

At a wedding in New Orleans
with my best friend, Brooke.

Due to the craziness of the past month and Richard's schedule permitting only 1 day off a week (which never coincided with my weekends off), we basically lived separate lives for the month. I did an insane amount of traveling for various reasons (bridal shower, conference and wedding) and work had me much busier than it has in a while. It was so nice to finally come home last weekend and know that I would be sleeping in my own bed without interruption for a while.

Richard's Greenhouse

With the little bit of daylight that Richard has seen, he's spent a lot of time piddling around our garden. He has worked hard to get things ready so that we'll have lots of vegetables to eat this summer. Out of the blue we had a random night of freezing temperatures (after our plants were in the ground) and Richard created a little green house that seems to have protected our plants very well.

Luka is loving the warm weather 

This month we don't have anything too wild and crazy planned. Richard has his birthday in a little over a week. We will be celebrating his 27th year of life with family and friends in a few different ways. We will also be making a quick trip to Denver to visit with my 91 year old grandmother and a few family members that live there. Both of my parents and my aunts will be visiting as well.

Our Garden

This is our first spring in the house and we love coming home to see what new plants have bloomed in the yard. It is so fun to see what the previous owners planted and working in the yard brings us a lot of happiness.  In the book that I am reading as part of my Side-by-Side bible study or what I commonly call "my support group", we are continuing to read Prescription for the Doctor's Wife. In our most recent chapter, the author shares a quote that hangs in her home and it reads, " Bloom where you are planted."  Seeing all the beautiful
flowers blooming, this quote has been my mantra since reading it.

As things are always up in the air with this crazy lifestyle that we're in, Richard and I are truly blooming. He had an incredible review come in last night that spoke about his compassion and his truly wonderful ability to care for patients. He is blossoming at the hospital in ways that I cannot see daily, but when I do hear it I am overwhelmed with pride for him.  I finally truly feel that I'm "blooming" in my relationships with people here in Greenville and that I am developing that much needed support system.  And together, we are blooming in our ability to survive bad months of not seeing one another and supporting one another throughout this journey. Thank you for helping us "bloom" with your love and support. We are truly grateful to our friends and family as we navigate these unknown territories.

Tulips "blooming" in our yard

A New Year's update on Dr. O'Neal and our life

We have officially survived the 6 month mark with intern year- Hallelujah. It is a wonderful feeling to know that we’re half way through surviving the most brutal year of Richard’s residency.  Since the beginning of residency, Richard has come home with both wonderful and sad stories, my favorite ones being where he did something incredible on the patients behalf. He has such a wonderful passion for helping people and doing what is right for both the patient and family. I love seeing him passionate about things and passionate about his work at the hospital. If he was not in love with his work, then being a resident spouse would be a much harder job.  The long hours plus the limited time that he and I get together is emotionally exhausting at times. 

For example, yesterday Richard left the house at 4:30 am and he walked in the door at 9. After eating together for 15/20 minutes he spent the next 1.5 – 2 hours doing dictations.  At 11:30 he finally came to bed and left the house at the same time again today. Days or weeks where this is the norm become frustrating and emotionally draining.  I am amazed that his body allows him to keep functioning. I’ll be honest that we are both counting down the days until this insane rotation is over.  February will be a wonderful respite after 2 insane months with limited quality time together (with the exception of Christmas week).

Richard and I had the opportunity to spend some of the holidays with family. We ventured up to Rock Hill for Thanksgiving and spent a week on the Hawaiian Island of Kauai with my family for Christmas. Hawaii was the first time in December that we had spent any amount of time together and we truly haven’t had that since. The other week I was able to sneak away from the office to do computer work at home and it happened that Richard had a lighter caseload too. I was able to meet him at the hospital for some Chick-fil-A.  Like a flash he came whirling into the dining area. I swear it was like a superhero with a cape how quickly he was moving and how his white coat flew in the air behind him.  It was remarkable to see my Doctor in his work environment and see how much he thrives in it. It was so fun and I loved every minute we spent together during that little lunch date.

Other than Richard’s 90 hour weeks at the hospital and lack of sleep, he is doing wonderfully. He is loved by everyone at the hospital and he makes me so proud everyday.  Our pup, Luka is doing very well. His doggy rest was lifted right after Christmas and in May they will do blood tests to make sure that his heart worms are officially gone. While on bed rest and prednisone, he put on a bit of weight. He loves having the freedom to run around again and is slimming down. My work is really keeping me busy (2 of the upstate social workers have left the company) and I feel like I’m running around with my head cut off. Over the past few months I have started getting out and doing more things. I find that it’s healthier for me as a spouse to get out and do things that keep me busy. Instead of sitting at home pining for my sweet husband. I’ve become an advisor for my college sorority and am so happy to have Delta Zeta back in my life.  The girls are wonderful to work with, it’s fun and it keeps me busy. I have been going to church more (sans Richard) and have signed up to join a dinner group through church. I spend time with a couple of the residents wives and have enjoyed developing friendships with women who understand the challenges associated with being married to a resident.  

The past 6 months have been an incredible growing time for him, for me and for us as a couple. Everyday has its challenges but who doesn’t face those in life? In marriage? In work?  I am so happy to support him and see him take more steps towards becoming an incredible physician. Thank you for all of those who support us , think about us and love us.  Please come visit us in our awesome city (we have a guest room). We are both confident that 2015 has a lot in store for us.

Introducing, Dr. O'Neal

On May 9^th, Richard along with his classmates graduated from the University of South Carolina School of Medicine. Four years of very hard work, an ungodly amount of loan money, countless tests, 2 horrible board exams, lots of hours in the classroom and hospital finally brought us to this day. Both of our families came together for the first time since our wedding and it was pretty incredible. We have one awesome family and I was really reminded of that last weekend.

Being with Richard as he prepared to graduate brought so many emotions to my mind and heart. I’ve been with Richard for almost 6 years and since the moment I met him, this has been his dream. We struggled through dating while he studied for and took his MCAT, we waited with anticipation when he submitted applications to medical school, I cried when he got accepted to USCSOM and we stood together as he adventured through medical school.

Richards’s graduation ceremony was a beautiful thing. I had so much pride for my husband as he entered that room, got hooded as Dr. O’Neal and took his Hippocratic Oath as a doctor of medicine. The speakers were wonderful and I maintained my composure throughout the entire thing until his classmate spoke. Richard’s classmate eloquently spoke about his wife and the support she has given him. He cried while thanking her and this made my own flood gates open.

Being the spouse of a student is a role that can easily be overlooked.  Being married to a medical student (or any form of student) is incredibly trying. As a spouse you are responsible for being the full financial supporter for your family, you must be accepting of the student loan debt that you inherit with marriage, and you must be the emotional supporter when he comes home after an awful day-- all while helping keep your lives together.   At lunch, Richard’s grandma told me “you’ve earned part of that degree” and those words meant more to me than I can say. I am so proud of what he has accomplished in medical school, I am proud of myself for rolling with the punches and proud of what we as a couple have accomplished together.

After the ceremony I was able to hug Richard and tell him how proud of him I am. Seeing him in his green gown with the new title Dr. O’Neal was remarkable. Being with Richard and seeing him finally achieve his dream is emotionally overwhelming. He is going be one heck of a Doctor and he is going to touch the lives of so many people. His passion for medicine and desire to heal people is both intoxicating and contagious.  

This is just the beginning of our journey and although we are in for a bumpier road with residency, it is a wonderful feeling to know that we are one step closer to the final destination. We are so lucky to have our friends and family who have been there throughout this journey. Your support means more to us than we can express. Although you may not see very much of us together (Richard will have very little time off during residency) over the next few years, know that we are so thankful to have you in our lives.