Lets get together.. yeah yeah yeah

“Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend "  

                                                        -Theophrastus

April came, went and already we are speeding through May. Can anyone make time stand still for little bit? These months where Richard is present and accounted for are so awesome. We get to have dinner together as much as we want, we get to lay in the hammock, piddle in the yard, watch Game Of Thrones or snuggle with our puppy— TOGETHER! 

Kentucky Derby Party May 2 2015

Medical School Graduation 2014

Time is such a precious gift. The time we spend together during “good months”  is great but sometimes it is exhausting. Not because we spend too much time together but because we are constantly going and doing. His months of electives are so rare that we feel the need to visit with people, go out and do things in Greenville or attend family functions and because of that, our quality time together suffers. We didn’t have a single weekend together last month that we weren’t “overbooked” with events.  This is a topic of conversation that Richard and I have recently been talking a lot about… we pride ourselves on being available to spend time with important people in our lives but are trying to learn how to be a little more selfish about our time together.  Learning how to say “no” is difficult and we both have guilt about it when we actually do say it.  In a perfect world, there would be more elective months with free weekends, but at least for the next few years that is not an option. So learning how to not overbook ourselves is our new goal together. We  love and appreciate all of the wonderful people in our support system, but we need to continue to grow together during this journey. 

Luka

Believe it or not, intern year is rapidly coming to a close.  This week last year, we were celebrating his medical school graduation. It amazes me that a full year has come and gone already.  Beginning
in July, Richard will no longer be the low man on the totem pole. He will have more responsibilities, will be held more accountable for things (don’t know how that’s possible but it is) and his hours will be different than intern year. I’m not banking on it being any better than intern year but I don’t think it could be any worse.  In this life, we have to take the positives and run with them.

Richard cutting my Shanmama's yard
in Denver at the end of April

We are still waiting for his schedule for the next year of residency. Every day (jokingly) I ask him, “do you have your schedule yet”? Every day he answers “no”. This has been a frustrating experience because there are things going on in the next year in our life that we are trying to attend (together)… we’ve got weddings and family things that he would like to attend and we still have no clue.  We have a big wedding in July and now we are within the required 60 day time frame for requesting off (should it be an elective month) and he has no clue if it’s even a possibility.   I am unsure of how many electives he'll have in the upcoming year, but I hope there are lots of them and that they are spread out. It is amazing how much of a difference a "good month" aka elective rotation can make for Richard, for me and for us. I love seeing him smile, laugh and just enjoy his outside of the hospital life. Richard does love his 90 hour a week months in the hospital and he learns so much during that time, but sometimes we need a respite for rejuvenation purposes.

Richard wearing his birthday bow tie from
his grandma!

At the end of May Richard will be taking his Step 3 Board Exams. Every night he spends some time going over questions and trying to prepare for this big important exam. Should Richard have a desire to do a fellowship, doing well on this test is essential.  Please keep him in your thoughts/prayers this month as he prepares and sits for this 2 days exam.  At the end of the month we head to Disney for the final weekend of this elective month. June 1st begins a busy month and immediately jumps into him staying at the hospital for nights. Guess Luka will be getting used to the bed again!


As always, thank you for following us on this adventure. Richard loves his work at GHS and as his wife it brings me so much joy to know that he is pursuing a career that makes him happy. Thank you for tolerating the unknown of what each month will bring and for remaining unwavering in your support. 

Introducing, Dr. O'Neal

On May 9^th, Richard along with his classmates graduated from the University of South Carolina School of Medicine. Four years of very hard work, an ungodly amount of loan money, countless tests, 2 horrible board exams, lots of hours in the classroom and hospital finally brought us to this day. Both of our families came together for the first time since our wedding and it was pretty incredible. We have one awesome family and I was really reminded of that last weekend.

Being with Richard as he prepared to graduate brought so many emotions to my mind and heart. I’ve been with Richard for almost 6 years and since the moment I met him, this has been his dream. We struggled through dating while he studied for and took his MCAT, we waited with anticipation when he submitted applications to medical school, I cried when he got accepted to USCSOM and we stood together as he adventured through medical school.

Richards’s graduation ceremony was a beautiful thing. I had so much pride for my husband as he entered that room, got hooded as Dr. O’Neal and took his Hippocratic Oath as a doctor of medicine. The speakers were wonderful and I maintained my composure throughout the entire thing until his classmate spoke. Richard’s classmate eloquently spoke about his wife and the support she has given him. He cried while thanking her and this made my own flood gates open.

Being the spouse of a student is a role that can easily be overlooked.  Being married to a medical student (or any form of student) is incredibly trying. As a spouse you are responsible for being the full financial supporter for your family, you must be accepting of the student loan debt that you inherit with marriage, and you must be the emotional supporter when he comes home after an awful day-- all while helping keep your lives together.   At lunch, Richard’s grandma told me “you’ve earned part of that degree” and those words meant more to me than I can say. I am so proud of what he has accomplished in medical school, I am proud of myself for rolling with the punches and proud of what we as a couple have accomplished together.

After the ceremony I was able to hug Richard and tell him how proud of him I am. Seeing him in his green gown with the new title Dr. O’Neal was remarkable. Being with Richard and seeing him finally achieve his dream is emotionally overwhelming. He is going be one heck of a Doctor and he is going to touch the lives of so many people. His passion for medicine and desire to heal people is both intoxicating and contagious.  

This is just the beginning of our journey and although we are in for a bumpier road with residency, it is a wonderful feeling to know that we are one step closer to the final destination. We are so lucky to have our friends and family who have been there throughout this journey. Your support means more to us than we can express. Although you may not see very much of us together (Richard will have very little time off during residency) over the next few years, know that we are so thankful to have you in our lives.  

Debt

With today being Richard's LAST day of Medical School, I find that we are beginning to have a lot of discussions about loan repayment. Loan repayment is very intimidating and as it begins to creep up on us, I felt the need to discuss a little bit of it.

When I share my life with people their response always is "it'll be worth it one day because he will be making tons of money" or the "big bucks". This sort of comment really ruffles my feathers but I often take this as a moment for education. What so many people don't realize is the free time that doctors give up, the short leash that the hospital puts them on or the amount of debt that young doctors are in and how long it will take them to get out of the red. Doctors do all of these things because they are passionate about medicine, passionate about caring for people and passionate about educating them.They are able to looked beyond the ever increasing dollar amount that continues grow and plague their lives simultaneously. They do this in order to achieve their dreams.

In speaking with multiple medical students, it is very common for them to have accrued somewhere around 200,000 dollars in debt.  Following their graduation from medical school, these new doctors will be starting their residency programs where on average the salary is 48-50,000 dollars a year. For most, this does not include the costs for any benefits.  It also does not include, living expenses, car insurance or any other "real life" expenses. Six months following their graduation, medical students will have to begin paying on these student loans with a significant amount of interest on top of the 200,000 dollars (+ 30,000 dollars in interest).

Over the next 10 years, we will devote a large portion of our monthly income to paying off this debt.  I have been blessed with an incredible job that over the last 2 years has allowed us to take out only the necessary money for tuition and not worry about living expenses. Richard and I have talked about how fortunate we are to be in a position where we can do this as a couple with two salaries. One salary to keep ourselves a float and the other to pay off loans. It is a terrifying to think that very soon we will begin paying on all of this debt and that this will be a huge part of our lives until 2024!

The salary of a doctor is not what it once was due to cutbacks and reimbursements. The days of private practice are over and this next generation of doctors has been told to "expect to work for a hospital".

The dream of becoming a doctor, a dentist, a veterinarian, a lawyer and many other professions all come with a hefty price: DEBT.

A few months back, I came across an article that did an awesome job discussing this subject. I urge you to read this if you haven't already. http://finance.yahoo.com/news/went-230-000-debt-become-135821351.html

Match Day Basics

The final year of medical school is full of big decisions. Not only must the medical student decide what kind of medicine they want to spend the rest of their lives practicing , but they must also determine where they will go for a residency. The residency matching process is one of the biggest decisions that will be made throughout a doctors career. I've written out the steps of what has happened and what will happen so that you can gain an understanding of this process.

• Medical students complete their interviews.
  Richard applied to about 20 programs. He was offered to interview at about 17/18 of them but only went through the process of about 6.  These interviews took place between October and the end of January. Different residency programs offer different funding to help offset some of the costs. We were lucky enough that for Internal Medicine, many of the programs paid for hotel rooms. After interviewing at many wonderful programs, the interviewee must decide where they want to spend the next 3-6 years depending on the field they choose.

• Medical students submit their preferred list of residency programs (with the most preferred as the first choice) while residency programs rank their preferred list of students.February 26th (TOMORROW) is the big day that Richard will submit his rank list. 

• The data from both the students and residency programs get entered into a computer database.

• The computer matches the residency program to a student.
  On the Monday before Match Day (Black Monday), the students will find out if they have been matched with a program. Should they not match, students will "Scramble". Scramble means that they will contact different programs that have openings and ask to be taken into their program. The trouble is that students from all over the country are fighting for the same small percentage of spots.

• Graduating students receive their results in mid-march, which is also known as “Match Day”.
  On March 21st, we will go to Columbia and there we will find out where he has  matched. It is a huge milestone for the students and often family members attend.  USCSOM will hold an assembly of sorts for the occasion. Students are called on stage at random and are presented with an envelope that tells them where they will be going. For all students with the exception of some military match people, this is the first time they learn where they will spend the next part of their career. 
• 
  
  Previously in medicine,  doctors applying for residency programs could make deals with hospitals to ensure they ended up at a place they wanted it.  It was also common for students to match at a program and then attend another one after deciding that another hospital was a better fit for them.  In today's world,  that's no longer possible.  
  
  
  I like to use the analogy of sports recruitment. Professional athletes sign a contract saying they'll go where they are drafted and this is exactly the same. Richard and I will go wherever he matches.
  
  This is an incredibly exciting (and stressful) time for us. We are so anxious for match day to get here so that we can begin planning the next step in our lives. I am confident that wherever we end up will be the perfect place for us. It is however terrifying that all our lives rest in the functioning of a computer matching program.  In just about a month, we will have some very exciting news to share with all of you and I promise there will be some pictures to go along with it! 
  
  

  • • This is a video from University of Maryland Medical Schools Match Day ceremony. This is what closest resembles USCSOM's Match Day assembly.  Match Day Video
  
  

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Background on a new blogger

After speaking with a good friend yesterday, I've decided to begin documenting my life as the spouse of a soon-to-be doctor. My goal is to write about what this entire process has been like while documenting about the future. Hopefully, I will be able to keep those friends or family members who read it informed about our life while providing education to those who will walk in these footsteps at a later time.

In 2008 I began dating a sweet boy who had dreams of someday becoming a doctor. On December 19th, 2009 that dream became a reality when he was accepted into medical school at USCSOM. I knew from the moment that I met Richard that I wanted to marry him and that I would do whatever was necessary to see him achieve his dream. On June 23rd, 2012 after being long distance for almost 4 years, we tied the knot. With the step one boards and the first two years of medical school behind us, we began our life together. 4 days after getting married, he began his 3rd year rotations.

I'll be honest when I say that 3rd year was difficult. I was beginning my first job after completing my MSW, trying to learn about being a spouse, finances, learning to cook, learning to be in the same city as Richard while having to cater life to whatever the rotation schedule was. In our first year of marriage, I honestly don't believe that we had a ton of time together aside from a few lucky weekends off, the occasional holiday that he didn't have to work and our delayed honeymoon to Paris in December.

I knew going into our marriage that things would be hard. Marriage itself is hard but being married to a medical student (any medical student) is difficult.  Everyday is a challenge as the spouse of a medical student but everyday that I get to see him light up about something that happened at the hospital makes this journey worth it.  

Please feel free to follow me as I begin blogging about our journey to get his MD and all of the milestones that will be met along this crazy road. 

At Lake Tahoe, Jan 2014