Lets get together.. yeah yeah yeah

“Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend "  

                                                        -Theophrastus

April came, went and already we are speeding through May. Can anyone make time stand still for little bit? These months where Richard is present and accounted for are so awesome. We get to have dinner together as much as we want, we get to lay in the hammock, piddle in the yard, watch Game Of Thrones or snuggle with our puppy— TOGETHER! 

Kentucky Derby Party May 2 2015

Medical School Graduation 2014

Time is such a precious gift. The time we spend together during “good months”  is great but sometimes it is exhausting. Not because we spend too much time together but because we are constantly going and doing. His months of electives are so rare that we feel the need to visit with people, go out and do things in Greenville or attend family functions and because of that, our quality time together suffers. We didn’t have a single weekend together last month that we weren’t “overbooked” with events.  This is a topic of conversation that Richard and I have recently been talking a lot about… we pride ourselves on being available to spend time with important people in our lives but are trying to learn how to be a little more selfish about our time together.  Learning how to say “no” is difficult and we both have guilt about it when we actually do say it.  In a perfect world, there would be more elective months with free weekends, but at least for the next few years that is not an option. So learning how to not overbook ourselves is our new goal together. We  love and appreciate all of the wonderful people in our support system, but we need to continue to grow together during this journey. 

Luka

Believe it or not, intern year is rapidly coming to a close.  This week last year, we were celebrating his medical school graduation. It amazes me that a full year has come and gone already.  Beginning
in July, Richard will no longer be the low man on the totem pole. He will have more responsibilities, will be held more accountable for things (don’t know how that’s possible but it is) and his hours will be different than intern year. I’m not banking on it being any better than intern year but I don’t think it could be any worse.  In this life, we have to take the positives and run with them.

Richard cutting my Shanmama's yard
in Denver at the end of April

We are still waiting for his schedule for the next year of residency. Every day (jokingly) I ask him, “do you have your schedule yet”? Every day he answers “no”. This has been a frustrating experience because there are things going on in the next year in our life that we are trying to attend (together)… we’ve got weddings and family things that he would like to attend and we still have no clue.  We have a big wedding in July and now we are within the required 60 day time frame for requesting off (should it be an elective month) and he has no clue if it’s even a possibility.   I am unsure of how many electives he'll have in the upcoming year, but I hope there are lots of them and that they are spread out. It is amazing how much of a difference a "good month" aka elective rotation can make for Richard, for me and for us. I love seeing him smile, laugh and just enjoy his outside of the hospital life. Richard does love his 90 hour a week months in the hospital and he learns so much during that time, but sometimes we need a respite for rejuvenation purposes.

Richard wearing his birthday bow tie from
his grandma!

At the end of May Richard will be taking his Step 3 Board Exams. Every night he spends some time going over questions and trying to prepare for this big important exam. Should Richard have a desire to do a fellowship, doing well on this test is essential.  Please keep him in your thoughts/prayers this month as he prepares and sits for this 2 days exam.  At the end of the month we head to Disney for the final weekend of this elective month. June 1st begins a busy month and immediately jumps into him staying at the hospital for nights. Guess Luka will be getting used to the bed again!


As always, thank you for following us on this adventure. Richard loves his work at GHS and as his wife it brings me so much joy to know that he is pursuing a career that makes him happy. Thank you for tolerating the unknown of what each month will bring and for remaining unwavering in your support. 

"A Social Gathering"

 “There’s not a word yet for old friends who’ve just met” - Jim Henson

Birthday Boy

As many of you know. Richard's birthday is Saturday the 18th and as I was considering what to do for his birthday, I really struggled. What do you get for a guy who doesn't have a lot of free time for hobbies? For a guy who hasn't expressed a desire for any gifts? For a guy whose schedule wouldn't permit an excursion or outing?  Richard very rarely gets any opportunity to sit, laugh, visit and enjoy himself with friends. He struggles with working on his friendships and relationships because of his schedule limitations and that has been one of our 2015 resolutions (both individually and as a couple). So, I threw him a birthday party or as he called it "A Social Gathering".

 We cooked out, had a few yard games, we laughed, had a fire with smores  (people burned their HIPAA documents) and we truly just enjoyed ourselves. It was so fun to see Richard carrying on with some of the best people we know. 

While we've lived in Greenville and over the past year, we have met so many wonderful people. These are the type of people who you've just met and there isn't any sort of awkward "get to know you period". You enjoy the same things, you are in similar phases of life, you come from relatable backgrounds and for some reason it just works. You click. While some of these relationships are still new and growing, we feel lucky to have met them and look forward to many more memories.

Wonderful friends!

Ryan & Craig (Med Peds Residents)

We also had a few old friends that were there too. I made a point to invite my favorite Wofford Terriers. Blake and Jonathan (Richard's buddies from college who were in our wedding) came up for the weekend. Being around the three of them reminds me so much of the time spent at Wofford. They laugh and carry on just like they used to and despite the craziness of all of our lives, they are such great friends to one another. These are two of my absolute favorite guys in the world and I love being with them (almost as much as Richard does). It's so fun to see how things have changed in our lives. Jonathan is working on a PhD at University of Georgia and Blake is about to graduate from USC School of Medicine. We are so lucky to have these great guys in our lives and savor the limited time we get as a group.

Richard's 21st birthday

Richard's 27th birthday

As we continue to celebrate his birthday week, we will be playing trivia a couple nights this week with some awesome people and on Friday we are headed to Rock Hill to visit with family.  It's hard to believe that in 2009, I helped Richard celebrate his 21st birthday and this week he will celebrate his 27th! It's amazing how time flies and things in life change.

Happy Birthday to Doctor O'Neal! 

February: The Wintery blur

Spring is finally beginning to show its beautiful face here in Greenville. After a cold and occasionally snowy winter, there are signs all around us that it is almost over.  February was a blur of a month and March is quickly passing us by.  Richard was on a geriatric rotation for the month of February and after a few rough months with very little quality time together, we were able to enjoy time with one another (and very often many friends/family). 

 Richard’s first free weekend of the month we had my parents, my aunt & uncle plus some hilarious friends come visit for a fun weekend.  We saw Wicked and ate some wonderful food around town. The following weekend, my bff from childhood came for a quick weekend and we got to see Jason Mraz in concert at the Peace Center.  Poor Richard came down with an awful stomach bug just as Brooke was leaving. It was pitiful to see him so sick but thankfully it was only a 36 hour bug and before I knew it he was requesting a hotdog for lunch! The next weekend we headed to Rock Hill for a visit with Richard’s family where we got to spend good quality time with all of the grandparents, his aunt and uncle, his brother Rob and of course his parents.  Our final weekend we got to spend some good time with one another but yet again we were busy.

The month flew by so quickly and we honestly only had 1 day of just us working in the yard/ doing nothing but being able to spend time with important people was worth everything! Richard’s elective rotations are so few and far between that when he has weekends free we feel the need to go see and visit with people we never have the opportunity to check in with otherwise. As of Monday (3/9) the 3:45 am alarm clock is once again going off and Richard heads into the hospital for long days. This month he will have 1 day off a week (all week days this month) and will be working roughly 80 hours a week. As he kissed me goodbye Monday morning, I jokingly said “see you next month” but there is some truth to the statement.  Luckily this rotation isn’t nearly as bad as some of the others that he has had and we will be able to enjoy dinners together at night. 

In this past rotation we both made an effort to reach out and get involved more with the church that we attend. We attended a community group (week night bible study/ Sunday school class) and met a lot of wonderful people. I've also joined a group of women whose husbands are also physicians. We've got a spectrum of ages from resident wives to women who are seasoned veterans in this life style. It's been a wonderful support and has been very insightful about so many topics. I've enjoyed meeting a few of the other resident spouses and developing friendships with these awesome women. It has been very rewarding for both us to get involved in various groups and it has made use feel more connected to Greenville in an entirely different way. 

We absolutely loved having so many people come visit us in February and hope that this trend will continue throughout 2015.  Richard will finish this next bad month in time for his birthday and then we'll have back to back elective rotations in April and May! Thank you for those of you who support us, call to check in on us, send us letters, who love us and remain constants in our lives. We could not get through this difficult intern year without you.  

A New Year's update on Dr. O'Neal and our life

We have officially survived the 6 month mark with intern year- Hallelujah. It is a wonderful feeling to know that we’re half way through surviving the most brutal year of Richard’s residency.  Since the beginning of residency, Richard has come home with both wonderful and sad stories, my favorite ones being where he did something incredible on the patients behalf. He has such a wonderful passion for helping people and doing what is right for both the patient and family. I love seeing him passionate about things and passionate about his work at the hospital. If he was not in love with his work, then being a resident spouse would be a much harder job.  The long hours plus the limited time that he and I get together is emotionally exhausting at times. 

For example, yesterday Richard left the house at 4:30 am and he walked in the door at 9. After eating together for 15/20 minutes he spent the next 1.5 – 2 hours doing dictations.  At 11:30 he finally came to bed and left the house at the same time again today. Days or weeks where this is the norm become frustrating and emotionally draining.  I am amazed that his body allows him to keep functioning. I’ll be honest that we are both counting down the days until this insane rotation is over.  February will be a wonderful respite after 2 insane months with limited quality time together (with the exception of Christmas week).

Richard and I had the opportunity to spend some of the holidays with family. We ventured up to Rock Hill for Thanksgiving and spent a week on the Hawaiian Island of Kauai with my family for Christmas. Hawaii was the first time in December that we had spent any amount of time together and we truly haven’t had that since. The other week I was able to sneak away from the office to do computer work at home and it happened that Richard had a lighter caseload too. I was able to meet him at the hospital for some Chick-fil-A.  Like a flash he came whirling into the dining area. I swear it was like a superhero with a cape how quickly he was moving and how his white coat flew in the air behind him.  It was remarkable to see my Doctor in his work environment and see how much he thrives in it. It was so fun and I loved every minute we spent together during that little lunch date.

Other than Richard’s 90 hour weeks at the hospital and lack of sleep, he is doing wonderfully. He is loved by everyone at the hospital and he makes me so proud everyday.  Our pup, Luka is doing very well. His doggy rest was lifted right after Christmas and in May they will do blood tests to make sure that his heart worms are officially gone. While on bed rest and prednisone, he put on a bit of weight. He loves having the freedom to run around again and is slimming down. My work is really keeping me busy (2 of the upstate social workers have left the company) and I feel like I’m running around with my head cut off. Over the past few months I have started getting out and doing more things. I find that it’s healthier for me as a spouse to get out and do things that keep me busy. Instead of sitting at home pining for my sweet husband. I’ve become an advisor for my college sorority and am so happy to have Delta Zeta back in my life.  The girls are wonderful to work with, it’s fun and it keeps me busy. I have been going to church more (sans Richard) and have signed up to join a dinner group through church. I spend time with a couple of the residents wives and have enjoyed developing friendships with women who understand the challenges associated with being married to a resident.  

The past 6 months have been an incredible growing time for him, for me and for us as a couple. Everyday has its challenges but who doesn’t face those in life? In marriage? In work?  I am so happy to support him and see him take more steps towards becoming an incredible physician. Thank you for all of those who support us , think about us and love us.  Please come visit us in our awesome city (we have a guest room). We are both confident that 2015 has a lot in store for us.