Happy Fall, Ya'll!

It's been a while since I've had the opportunity to write about how things are progressing in this pregnancy and life. Since the end of August, I have not had a single free weekend due to insanely busy activities and therefore the blogging has decreased. Over the past few months,  we have had multiple weddings in various locations, an anatomy scan, a baby shower in Lewisburg, a lot of growth in the stomach, a birthday party in Charleston, the purchasing of maternity clothes, a day fishing trip, the creation of baby registries and even a Bachlorette weekend. Richard and I are counting down the next 2 weeks in anticipation of when we will gain our weekends back until the baby arrives (although his next rotation will mean that he works weekends once again). 

The Anatomy Scan was on August 26th and it was amazing to see the growth/development from our initial ultrasound to this particular scan. Everything looked textbook on the baby and although he or she did NOT want to be disturbed, we were still able to see how perfect our little miracle is already. We remained strong and both turned our heads when the tech looked at the gender. We are so excited for the big moment in January when we find out Boy or Girl! From the moment I found out that I was pregnant, I thought that it was girl. After seeing the 3D ultrasound picture,  my opinion changed to boy.  Today, months after the ultrasound, I am back to thinking girl.  Whenever Richard and I talk gender he never has thoughts or opinions. Regardless of the baby being a boy or girl, the one thing that we care about is the health of the baby. We want a healthy baby. Please continue to have good thoughts and pray for everything to remain healthy.

Our Nursery is still a work in progress... All of the painting is done and as of recently, the crib is put together.  Richard was so excited to be able to put the crib together that the day it arrived, he put it together. We are attempting a travel/world theme for the nursery and are excited to see how it progresses over the final months of the pregnancy.

At the beginning of October, I flew to Lewisburg for a wonderful baby shower. It was a small group of  women and included some of the most important people in my life. Brooke &  Justin flew up from New Orleans to surprise me, Jerri, Liz and Mel came from Buffalo/NYC and my Aunt Jan and Uncle Bob drove up from TN. It was wonderful to celebrate Baby O'Neal with so many important people I was overwhelmed by the the amount of love and support given by everyone towards Baby O'Neal (and us).  All the people who traveled far for the shower, everyone who came the shower and brought gifts for the baby touched my heart in ways I will never be able to express. Our house is filling up with baby items and I love that each gift comes from such wonderful people.  Soon we will have another one in Rock Hill surrounded by Richard's family and friends. It will be a beautiful event and I am positive that once again, the outpour of love will be amazing.

For the first work free weekend in Richard's schedule for a while, we attended my best friends wedding. It was a beautiful ceremony and an awesome reception.  I loved being able to stand next to her as she married her soul mate. Additionally, it was so nice to have Richard at my side looking extremely handsome. When we left the reception, we headed up to TN for our "babymoon" day excursion. We went fishing on the Watauga with a guide and had a blast. The trout weren't biting very much, but spending a whole day with Richard was wonderful. I can't begin to tell you the last time we did that.

At my bffs wedding

Sometimes I think back to the days of our long distance relationship and I see numerous parallels to that time and our current life in residency.  The parallels in both phases of our relationship are these: Weekends together are sacred and rare, there is no way every task you have to accomplish will get finished, get used to independence because often we are both off doing separate activities in different cities and keeping your phone charged is essential because texting/phone conversations sometimes is the only way we get to check in with one another.

Being married to a resident and starting a family with one is no easy task. For example, while most women have their husbands along for each prenatal doctors visit, Richard has only been able to attend 2.  Richard will only have 1 week off (including Labor & Delivery) before he returns to work. Should the baby come late, the days in which he'll have "normal"  work hours will diminish (rotations change early February and again he'll be working 90 hrs a week).  I am mentally trying to prepare myself for the challenges associated with adjusting to life with new baby but  also how life with a resident husband and a new baby will be. I will admit that the future terrifies me and I pray everyday that I have the strength inside to do a lot of solo parenting while Richard finishes his training. I know so many women have done this before and are currently do this, but these future hurdles more than anything related to pregnancy or childbirth gives me anxiety.

Luka loving on the baby while the baby kicks him

Being in the 3rd trimester, we are now in the home stretch! Baby moves constantly these days and loves to have dance parties all night long. I am struggling to find a sleeping position that keeps the both of us comfortable. I can tell you that already, this baby is demanding and likes to makes him or herself known (especially at 2 am). We're anxious for January, but also hoping time slows down a little but so that we can finish everything in preparation for the baby. I am now seeing my OBGYN every 2 weeks and eventually I'll be going weekly. By the time the holidays get here, my travel will be restricted so that "in-case" something happens that I will be near the hospital.  It is hard to believe that January is just around the corner and soon we will be able to love on this little one.

I cannot thank those of you who regularly check in with me enough. It is so encouraging to get a message or email that asks how I'm doing or how baby is doing.  It truly means the world that people think about me and this adventure enough to reach out. As always, thank you for your support, your encouragement and your well wishes. Time is flying by and January will be here in just a few months. Until then we are awaiting the arrival of our niece or nephew who is due in the next few weeks, Richard will begin Critical Care (one of the hardest rotations during residency),  we are trying to finish all baby related projects and still enjoy some time with one another. Hopefully it won't be so long before the next update, but who knows. As always, thanks for reading and supporting us on this adventure!

Adoption and Baby O'Neal

For many varying reasons, adoption has been a recent topic of conversation with people in my life. Adoption, as those of you who know me is an important topic that is near and dear to my heart. It is the reason I am a social worker and it is the reason that I have the beautiful life that I do.  In 1987, a young woman made the hardest decision that she possibly could have... she left her newborn infant at the hospital to be given a better chance at life. It is something that I don't dwell on or think about with the exception of rare moments where I am so thankful for that incredibly difficult decision. I cannot imagine the feelings that she must have felt leaving her baby someplace with people she didn't know with only the hope that I would be able to thrive in my new life (something I believe she knew that she could not provide).

Me with my awesome parents and Mercedes (the founder of FANA)

My recent conversations with various people in regards to adoption have mostly been about the struggles that adopted children often face due to their individual struggles with abandonment, cultural identify or feeling that they aren't complete in some way or just don't belong. I have known a number of adopted children who fit somewhere along this spectrum or who are struggling with their identity (or have struggled) but I have also known people who are understanding of their early life circumstances and are not searching for closure beyond what is available in their current lives.  There will always children who vary on this spectrum and their life circumstances will absolutely play into these feelings. I've talked with my mom countless times about why I have never struggled with wanting to know who my birth mother is or why I was abandoned or any of the other countless questions that adopted children have. In my own case, there was never the possibility of finding my birth mother because she never provided documentation with her name and I was actually abandoned (no papers were signed to terminate her parental rights).  Beginning as far back as I can remember, adoption was always an open topic of conversation (should I want it to be), my parents both encouraged/supported my involvement in FANA (my orphanage) and my interest in the Colombian culture. These are the things I attribute to my understanding and acceptance of my early life circumstances (plus I have a really awesome family that I am thankful for).

There are people that I continue encounter in my life who are fixated on my adoption or the fact that I "am an orphan". I will be absolutely honest when I say I really really dislike the word "Orphan", I might even say that I hate the word. I understand that the bible, journal articles and many adoption program use this word but as an adopted child I find extremely offensive, negative and it attaches a stigma to me that is only relevant for the first 9 months of my life (due to circumstances that I could not control). I am not an orphan as I have 2 wonderful parents who raised me.  Mercedes, the founder of my orphanage spoke about her love of uniting "families with a child" not "children with a family". She looked at the adopting parents as the ones who were missing something that would make their hearts complete. I love this perspective and philosophy because there are needs being filled on both side of the adoption.. It is not just children in need of a family or parents. We have dear friends who are currently in pursuit of making their family complete through the process of adoption and it has made me reflect on a lot of these things (in addition to my conversations with other people).   I am so excited for them and this incredible adventure that they are bravely starting. It is an adventure in search of making their hearts full, making their family feel more complete and most importantly it is a journey about being able to love a beautiful child.


Our awesome wedding photographer wrote a beautiful book, which I pre-ordered prior to its publication date in June of 2012. It is called, You are so Special, Little One and it talks about the special process of adoption. It is the story of a young adopted child who is asking her mother questions related to her own adoption story. I absolutely recommend it to those of you with little kids, who know someone with an adopted child, if you have an adopted child or for those of you who maybe just love adoption.

As Richard and I prepare to have our own journey into parenthood, I can't help but think about my adoption. For most people, having a child that looks like you is a concept that one might not even think about. For me, it is an amazing and mind blowing reality of what will come with the birth of our child. When we become parents, it will be the the first time in my entire life that I am going to have someone that looks like me in some way. It might just be my nose or my dark eyes and hair but it will be someone who is genetically related to me.  I will be able to look at my newborn picture and compare it to this baby's newborn picture and hopefully (unless it takes 100% after Richard), there will be similarities. Now I know this may seem like a normal concept to those of you who have someone in your life that you're biologically related to, but for me it takes my excitement for this baby to a new level... a more emotional/meaningful level. Richard and I continue to be thrilled about this journey. We are thankful for each and every life event that has brought us to where we are at point; especially my adoption and everything involved with it. I am thankful for the decision my birth mother made but more importantly I am forever blessed by the choice my parents made when they decided to expand their family.

O'Neal Summer

It’s hard to believe that August is here. Where did the past 3 months go?   Richard and I have had a fairly busy summer in addition to our big news. We’ve done some traveling and had a great time in all of the places we’ve been.

May

May was pretty busy for both of us with work. Richard’s schedule was jam packed and at my office we had a lot of admissions plus more home patients.  We attended a wedding of a sorority sister and went to Disney World with my family.  The wedding was beautiful with lots of familiar faces. Disney (as always) was a blast. Our first night there, we had dinner plans at one of our favorite restaurants. It was there that we told my family about our big news. My dad had a birthday coming up, in addition to father’s day so we brought him a birthday gift. My sister is expecting a baby as well, so on the very top of the bag,  we gave him a mickey mouse onesie. We said that is for “baby Blankenheim” and they thought it was adorable. My Dad commented on there being other things in the bag and I told him to read the card first. The card was for “Grandparents-to-be” and inside we had written “surprise…when it rains, it pours”.  Below that card was an additional onesie for a newborn.  He held up both of the outfits and everyone was very excited. People in the restaurant had been watching us through the windows and one girl asked me if we were having twins! It was a perfect spot (one that means a lot to my family) for us to share such exciting news with them. Absolutely this was one for Bruce family history books. It was a wonderful trip and the parks weren’t crowded yet.  The only struggle was that as an “expectant mother” your rides are limited. I made friends with quite a few moms-to-be in little sitting areas while we all waited for our family members who were on the rides.  We ate so much good food and rode almost everything we wanted to (minus the Rockin Roller-Coaster which was shut down). It's hard to believe that on our next trip to Disney, there there will be 2 little Bruce grandchildren in tow. 

June

June was not as busy as the majority of things that we had scheduled had to be cancelled due to the awful 1st trimester fatigue. I didn’t move from the couch most weekends in June as even little things exhausted me. Richard did a great job taking over dinners and encouraging me to sleep as much as I felt that I needed. In very early June, we were able to tell Richard’s parents about our big news. As a little boy, Richard had a Mickey Mouse fishing rod, so we bought Richard’s Dad a Mickey Mouse fishing rod and give it to him. We told lots of Richard’s family within the same 24 hours as everyone lives in Rock Hill and we wanted to be able to tell as many people in person as possible. We were so happy that we had that opportunity to tell everyone in person and share in the excitement with them.

July

Over the 4^th of July weekend, we had some very close family friends visit for the weekend. Noah (the son) was the ring bearer in our wedding and since 2012 has grown so much. Dylan (his sister) is also so big and they loved the idea of us having a baby...or as she said it “a little cousin”. They brought sweet baby gifts that they had taken time to pick out with purpose and they were so excited for us to open them. It really warmed my heart.  The following weekend, my best friend got married. It was extremely hot in Charleston for the wedding week/weekend but that didn’t bother anyone associated with the group. Seeing her in her wedding dress with a huge smile on her face brought me so much joy. Brooke is someone that I have known for over 20 years and consider a sister. I loved being there to witness her beautiful marriage to an awesome guy.

Finally, we ended the month by going to Lewisburg for a very quick weekend (Drove ½ way Thursday, arrived Friday and drove home Sunday).  A dear friend from middle and high school got married. The groom is Irish and his family came from Ireland for the week. It was so fun to finally meet the groom, to meet his sweet family, to see a real Irish blessing (in Gaelic), see the bride marry her special guy and to visit with friends from high school that I have not seen in forever.  It was the first time in about 2 years that we had gotten to visit Lewisburg and it was great to be able to spend time walking around my parent’s property and seeing the sights of the small town. Luka absolutely loved running around such a big property and having free reign of the farm. It confirmed with us that someday we’d love to get a nice piece of property that our family and animals can run around on.

Upon arrival home, Richard and I quickly went to bed because his alarm was set to go off at 430 am. The relaxing elective month had come to an end and the busy hospital month was beginning. Richard became an upper-level resident in July and on his new rotation is responsible for teaching and looking after the interns who began July 1.  We enjoyed our busy summer months and loved getting the chance to celebrate so many great things with our friends and family.  

O'Neal News

Well after a bit of an absence from the blogging scene, I'm stepping back into it!  Since my last post in May, lots of things have changed. About a week after my last post Richard and I found out that in January, we will become parents! First trimester has now come and gone. Overall, it was easy but the main struggle was the fatigue. There were a few weeks when I was so exhausted that I'd sleep every second that I could. I'd try to sneak home early and sleep until dinner time and then I would force Richard to go to bed early (really I'd fall asleep and he'd watch tv). No morning sickness though -- hallelujah!

10 week ultrasound 

We had our first doctors appointment/ultrasound at 10 weeks. It may be the most incredible thing that I have ever seen/heard.  What a life altering moment to hear your baby's heart beat and see the little growing human on the tv. I immediately cried and Richard said that he was just so in "awe" that he didn't know how to react. USCSOM teaches its students extensively on ultrasound (it's something they pride themselves on) and so Richard has spent a lot of time seeing similar ultrasounds. It amazed me to see how speechless and awe struck he was, but I guess that it is very different when it's your child.

Both of our families are very excited about this addition.  We told them each pretty early into the pregnancy, so I imagine both sides are thrilled to be able to talk with everyone about it now!  We are beginning to do the necessary prep work for the house and financially. Richard has been booted from his big closet and is moving excess items out of the 3rd bedroom (If anyone needs a dresser and bedside table let me know). We are starting to put together the list of items that we'll buy or register for but it's amazing how much stuff there truly is. Weeding through the excess to have the basic list of essentials is a huge task.

Richard and his silly face

This week I decided to be proactive in searching for a daycare because I had heard things in Greenville fill up quickly. Well thank goodness I did! The hospital daycare has a waiting list of over a year.. I called another one who very nicely told me "we hope to have you placed in a classroom by the 2 year old age group". WHAT?! That phone call proved to me what sort of insanity is occurring in the Greenville infant daycare system. After frantically emailing and calling places, I found the last spot in a daycare beginning May 2016. My baby has barely had its gender developed and I am already late on setting up a daycare option?! So the lessons that I'm sharing with my local friends are 1.) Open an infant daycare and you'll have plenty of business and 2.) if you are even entertaining the thought of having children (even 2 yrs out) that you should look into daycare.  I am just thankful that we found a great place with a wonderful reputation in the community and that although it starts in May and not April (when maternity leave would end should everything go as planned) that we have a plan. We will be on the hunt for a good nanny of some sort for the 1st few weeks until May 1st when the space becomes available.


It is amazing how immediately after seeing that "positive" come up on a pregnancy test how your mind changes and the focus shifts. We still have many months to go but regardless of the amount time we have, I don't think we will ever be fully prepared.  Sometime next month we will have our anatomy scan and will get another glimpse at the baby. This is normally when gender would be determined, but we are going "old school" and will find out around January 16th when she or he arrives.  Until then I am thankful for the ease of everything so far and continue to pray that everything stays that way as this pregnancy progresses. It's hard to believe I'm  already 15 weeks on Saturday.


We cannot say enough about how overwhelmed we were by the countless people who liked and commented on the Facebook post.  406 likes and 122 comments- WOW. Thank you, thank you! We are feeling love from people all over the world and cannot say enough about how much it means to us. Thank you for supporting us, for loving us, for already loving our little one and for starting this new phase of life with us! We are excited about everything pregnancy and parenthood have in store for us!

P.S. We've done a lot of things since the last entry and I will soon write another update sharing pictures from some of the trips/outings that we've had in the past 3 months.

Lets get together.. yeah yeah yeah

“Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend "  

                                                        -Theophrastus

April came, went and already we are speeding through May. Can anyone make time stand still for little bit? These months where Richard is present and accounted for are so awesome. We get to have dinner together as much as we want, we get to lay in the hammock, piddle in the yard, watch Game Of Thrones or snuggle with our puppy— TOGETHER! 

Kentucky Derby Party May 2 2015

Medical School Graduation 2014

Time is such a precious gift. The time we spend together during “good months”  is great but sometimes it is exhausting. Not because we spend too much time together but because we are constantly going and doing. His months of electives are so rare that we feel the need to visit with people, go out and do things in Greenville or attend family functions and because of that, our quality time together suffers. We didn’t have a single weekend together last month that we weren’t “overbooked” with events.  This is a topic of conversation that Richard and I have recently been talking a lot about… we pride ourselves on being available to spend time with important people in our lives but are trying to learn how to be a little more selfish about our time together.  Learning how to say “no” is difficult and we both have guilt about it when we actually do say it.  In a perfect world, there would be more elective months with free weekends, but at least for the next few years that is not an option. So learning how to not overbook ourselves is our new goal together. We  love and appreciate all of the wonderful people in our support system, but we need to continue to grow together during this journey. 

Luka

Believe it or not, intern year is rapidly coming to a close.  This week last year, we were celebrating his medical school graduation. It amazes me that a full year has come and gone already.  Beginning
in July, Richard will no longer be the low man on the totem pole. He will have more responsibilities, will be held more accountable for things (don’t know how that’s possible but it is) and his hours will be different than intern year. I’m not banking on it being any better than intern year but I don’t think it could be any worse.  In this life, we have to take the positives and run with them.

Richard cutting my Shanmama's yard
in Denver at the end of April

We are still waiting for his schedule for the next year of residency. Every day (jokingly) I ask him, “do you have your schedule yet”? Every day he answers “no”. This has been a frustrating experience because there are things going on in the next year in our life that we are trying to attend (together)… we’ve got weddings and family things that he would like to attend and we still have no clue.  We have a big wedding in July and now we are within the required 60 day time frame for requesting off (should it be an elective month) and he has no clue if it’s even a possibility.   I am unsure of how many electives he'll have in the upcoming year, but I hope there are lots of them and that they are spread out. It is amazing how much of a difference a "good month" aka elective rotation can make for Richard, for me and for us. I love seeing him smile, laugh and just enjoy his outside of the hospital life. Richard does love his 90 hour a week months in the hospital and he learns so much during that time, but sometimes we need a respite for rejuvenation purposes.

Richard wearing his birthday bow tie from
his grandma!

At the end of May Richard will be taking his Step 3 Board Exams. Every night he spends some time going over questions and trying to prepare for this big important exam. Should Richard have a desire to do a fellowship, doing well on this test is essential.  Please keep him in your thoughts/prayers this month as he prepares and sits for this 2 days exam.  At the end of the month we head to Disney for the final weekend of this elective month. June 1st begins a busy month and immediately jumps into him staying at the hospital for nights. Guess Luka will be getting used to the bed again!


As always, thank you for following us on this adventure. Richard loves his work at GHS and as his wife it brings me so much joy to know that he is pursuing a career that makes him happy. Thank you for tolerating the unknown of what each month will bring and for remaining unwavering in your support. 

"A Social Gathering"

 “There’s not a word yet for old friends who’ve just met” - Jim Henson

Birthday Boy

As many of you know. Richard's birthday is Saturday the 18th and as I was considering what to do for his birthday, I really struggled. What do you get for a guy who doesn't have a lot of free time for hobbies? For a guy who hasn't expressed a desire for any gifts? For a guy whose schedule wouldn't permit an excursion or outing?  Richard very rarely gets any opportunity to sit, laugh, visit and enjoy himself with friends. He struggles with working on his friendships and relationships because of his schedule limitations and that has been one of our 2015 resolutions (both individually and as a couple). So, I threw him a birthday party or as he called it "A Social Gathering".

 We cooked out, had a few yard games, we laughed, had a fire with smores  (people burned their HIPAA documents) and we truly just enjoyed ourselves. It was so fun to see Richard carrying on with some of the best people we know. 

While we've lived in Greenville and over the past year, we have met so many wonderful people. These are the type of people who you've just met and there isn't any sort of awkward "get to know you period". You enjoy the same things, you are in similar phases of life, you come from relatable backgrounds and for some reason it just works. You click. While some of these relationships are still new and growing, we feel lucky to have met them and look forward to many more memories.

Wonderful friends!

Ryan & Craig (Med Peds Residents)

We also had a few old friends that were there too. I made a point to invite my favorite Wofford Terriers. Blake and Jonathan (Richard's buddies from college who were in our wedding) came up for the weekend. Being around the three of them reminds me so much of the time spent at Wofford. They laugh and carry on just like they used to and despite the craziness of all of our lives, they are such great friends to one another. These are two of my absolute favorite guys in the world and I love being with them (almost as much as Richard does). It's so fun to see how things have changed in our lives. Jonathan is working on a PhD at University of Georgia and Blake is about to graduate from USC School of Medicine. We are so lucky to have these great guys in our lives and savor the limited time we get as a group.

Richard's 21st birthday

Richard's 27th birthday

As we continue to celebrate his birthday week, we will be playing trivia a couple nights this week with some awesome people and on Friday we are headed to Rock Hill to visit with family.  It's hard to believe that in 2009, I helped Richard celebrate his 21st birthday and this week he will celebrate his 27th! It's amazing how time flies and things in life change.

Happy Birthday to Doctor O'Neal! 

March MADNESS

Thank goodness Richard is finished with this last rotation. Today I finally began to see signs that my

Selfies helped me see him 

sweet husband was still alive inside of his exhausted frame.  The past month has flown by (as it seems each month does) but for both of us, the months end was welcomed with open arms. Throughout the month, Richard's alarm chimed everyday around 3:15 am or 3:30 and he was out the door before I could even recover from his alarm going off.  He would come home on average around 7 pm. Of course, there are were a few days when he came home around 6:15 but more often this rotation there were later days. He would come home pale and exhausted having worked so hard to do his best for the patients. Richard is 100% of the time a more positive, peppy and encouraging individual than myself and this month it was hard to see him so tired from his hospital life.  The cause: lots of difficult cases, challenging patients/families and the constant need to give 200% to every case.  When he walked into the house last night after work, he had a look of relief on his face that he (we) had survived what he considers his worst month yet.

Richard is on an elective rotation now and he was home by 5:30 tonight. Hurray!!!!  He smiled, laughed, cooked me a great dinner and for the first time in 30ish days, he did not have dictations or computer documentation to do post dinner.

At a wedding in New Orleans
with my best friend, Brooke.

Due to the craziness of the past month and Richard's schedule permitting only 1 day off a week (which never coincided with my weekends off), we basically lived separate lives for the month. I did an insane amount of traveling for various reasons (bridal shower, conference and wedding) and work had me much busier than it has in a while. It was so nice to finally come home last weekend and know that I would be sleeping in my own bed without interruption for a while.

Richard's Greenhouse

With the little bit of daylight that Richard has seen, he's spent a lot of time piddling around our garden. He has worked hard to get things ready so that we'll have lots of vegetables to eat this summer. Out of the blue we had a random night of freezing temperatures (after our plants were in the ground) and Richard created a little green house that seems to have protected our plants very well.

Luka is loving the warm weather 

This month we don't have anything too wild and crazy planned. Richard has his birthday in a little over a week. We will be celebrating his 27th year of life with family and friends in a few different ways. We will also be making a quick trip to Denver to visit with my 91 year old grandmother and a few family members that live there. Both of my parents and my aunts will be visiting as well.

Our Garden

This is our first spring in the house and we love coming home to see what new plants have bloomed in the yard. It is so fun to see what the previous owners planted and working in the yard brings us a lot of happiness.  In the book that I am reading as part of my Side-by-Side bible study or what I commonly call "my support group", we are continuing to read Prescription for the Doctor's Wife. In our most recent chapter, the author shares a quote that hangs in her home and it reads, " Bloom where you are planted."  Seeing all the beautiful
flowers blooming, this quote has been my mantra since reading it.

As things are always up in the air with this crazy lifestyle that we're in, Richard and I are truly blooming. He had an incredible review come in last night that spoke about his compassion and his truly wonderful ability to care for patients. He is blossoming at the hospital in ways that I cannot see daily, but when I do hear it I am overwhelmed with pride for him.  I finally truly feel that I'm "blooming" in my relationships with people here in Greenville and that I am developing that much needed support system.  And together, we are blooming in our ability to survive bad months of not seeing one another and supporting one another throughout this journey. Thank you for helping us "bloom" with your love and support. We are truly grateful to our friends and family as we navigate these unknown territories.

Tulips "blooming" in our yard

February: The Wintery blur

Spring is finally beginning to show its beautiful face here in Greenville. After a cold and occasionally snowy winter, there are signs all around us that it is almost over.  February was a blur of a month and March is quickly passing us by.  Richard was on a geriatric rotation for the month of February and after a few rough months with very little quality time together, we were able to enjoy time with one another (and very often many friends/family). 

 Richard’s first free weekend of the month we had my parents, my aunt & uncle plus some hilarious friends come visit for a fun weekend.  We saw Wicked and ate some wonderful food around town. The following weekend, my bff from childhood came for a quick weekend and we got to see Jason Mraz in concert at the Peace Center.  Poor Richard came down with an awful stomach bug just as Brooke was leaving. It was pitiful to see him so sick but thankfully it was only a 36 hour bug and before I knew it he was requesting a hotdog for lunch! The next weekend we headed to Rock Hill for a visit with Richard’s family where we got to spend good quality time with all of the grandparents, his aunt and uncle, his brother Rob and of course his parents.  Our final weekend we got to spend some good time with one another but yet again we were busy.

The month flew by so quickly and we honestly only had 1 day of just us working in the yard/ doing nothing but being able to spend time with important people was worth everything! Richard’s elective rotations are so few and far between that when he has weekends free we feel the need to go see and visit with people we never have the opportunity to check in with otherwise. As of Monday (3/9) the 3:45 am alarm clock is once again going off and Richard heads into the hospital for long days. This month he will have 1 day off a week (all week days this month) and will be working roughly 80 hours a week. As he kissed me goodbye Monday morning, I jokingly said “see you next month” but there is some truth to the statement.  Luckily this rotation isn’t nearly as bad as some of the others that he has had and we will be able to enjoy dinners together at night. 

In this past rotation we both made an effort to reach out and get involved more with the church that we attend. We attended a community group (week night bible study/ Sunday school class) and met a lot of wonderful people. I've also joined a group of women whose husbands are also physicians. We've got a spectrum of ages from resident wives to women who are seasoned veterans in this life style. It's been a wonderful support and has been very insightful about so many topics. I've enjoyed meeting a few of the other resident spouses and developing friendships with these awesome women. It has been very rewarding for both us to get involved in various groups and it has made use feel more connected to Greenville in an entirely different way. 

We absolutely loved having so many people come visit us in February and hope that this trend will continue throughout 2015.  Richard will finish this next bad month in time for his birthday and then we'll have back to back elective rotations in April and May! Thank you for those of you who support us, call to check in on us, send us letters, who love us and remain constants in our lives. We could not get through this difficult intern year without you.  

A New Year's update on Dr. O'Neal and our life

We have officially survived the 6 month mark with intern year- Hallelujah. It is a wonderful feeling to know that we’re half way through surviving the most brutal year of Richard’s residency.  Since the beginning of residency, Richard has come home with both wonderful and sad stories, my favorite ones being where he did something incredible on the patients behalf. He has such a wonderful passion for helping people and doing what is right for both the patient and family. I love seeing him passionate about things and passionate about his work at the hospital. If he was not in love with his work, then being a resident spouse would be a much harder job.  The long hours plus the limited time that he and I get together is emotionally exhausting at times. 

For example, yesterday Richard left the house at 4:30 am and he walked in the door at 9. After eating together for 15/20 minutes he spent the next 1.5 – 2 hours doing dictations.  At 11:30 he finally came to bed and left the house at the same time again today. Days or weeks where this is the norm become frustrating and emotionally draining.  I am amazed that his body allows him to keep functioning. I’ll be honest that we are both counting down the days until this insane rotation is over.  February will be a wonderful respite after 2 insane months with limited quality time together (with the exception of Christmas week).

Richard and I had the opportunity to spend some of the holidays with family. We ventured up to Rock Hill for Thanksgiving and spent a week on the Hawaiian Island of Kauai with my family for Christmas. Hawaii was the first time in December that we had spent any amount of time together and we truly haven’t had that since. The other week I was able to sneak away from the office to do computer work at home and it happened that Richard had a lighter caseload too. I was able to meet him at the hospital for some Chick-fil-A.  Like a flash he came whirling into the dining area. I swear it was like a superhero with a cape how quickly he was moving and how his white coat flew in the air behind him.  It was remarkable to see my Doctor in his work environment and see how much he thrives in it. It was so fun and I loved every minute we spent together during that little lunch date.

Other than Richard’s 90 hour weeks at the hospital and lack of sleep, he is doing wonderfully. He is loved by everyone at the hospital and he makes me so proud everyday.  Our pup, Luka is doing very well. His doggy rest was lifted right after Christmas and in May they will do blood tests to make sure that his heart worms are officially gone. While on bed rest and prednisone, he put on a bit of weight. He loves having the freedom to run around again and is slimming down. My work is really keeping me busy (2 of the upstate social workers have left the company) and I feel like I’m running around with my head cut off. Over the past few months I have started getting out and doing more things. I find that it’s healthier for me as a spouse to get out and do things that keep me busy. Instead of sitting at home pining for my sweet husband. I’ve become an advisor for my college sorority and am so happy to have Delta Zeta back in my life.  The girls are wonderful to work with, it’s fun and it keeps me busy. I have been going to church more (sans Richard) and have signed up to join a dinner group through church. I spend time with a couple of the residents wives and have enjoyed developing friendships with women who understand the challenges associated with being married to a resident.  

The past 6 months have been an incredible growing time for him, for me and for us as a couple. Everyday has its challenges but who doesn’t face those in life? In marriage? In work?  I am so happy to support him and see him take more steps towards becoming an incredible physician. Thank you for all of those who support us , think about us and love us.  Please come visit us in our awesome city (we have a guest room). We are both confident that 2015 has a lot in store for us.