At work this past week, our Chaplain gave us the 5 love languages test to help us identify our own love language. Although I had already guessed which love language categories I fall under, it was nice to see it in person. After taking the test, I ranked highest in Acts of Service and Quality Time. These are the things that have always and will always be important to me. Having someone help around the house or spend good one-on-one time with me is essential. We are in a hard phase of life right now with residency that makes both of these things difficult in our marriage. Richard is swamped and overwhelmed by residency and the hospital is his "mistress" as I call it. It is hard for him on his bad months to even get sleep let alone help around the house or to spend time with us without his cell phone beeping with pages from a nurse at the hospital or something residency related. Richard's love languages are absolutely not the same as mine and I know that without him having to even take the test. Working with one another to address the way we feel loved is often hard when many months we are like 2 passing ships in the night. Richard cherishes 5 minutes of hand holding or cuddles on the couch in addition to words of affirmation. I know that he struggles to function between his duty as a husband and father along with his career goals. Encouragement , praise and understanding keep him motivated.
Being married to a resident is so rewarding in so many ways. Watching him grow and become an incredible doctor has always been and will always be a joy. Many years ago (almost 8) when we first started dating, he told me of his dream to become a physician. I promised Richard then that I would bring him coffee late at night during his journey to become a doctor. Little did I know for Richard that would really mean bringing a bag of spree and a regular coke. Growing up I witnessed the challenges and incredible strength that my parents had (have) related to my fathers own career as an ENT. It is so hard to explain this journey unless you've lived it or are living in it. It's hard to explain to our friends and family who don't have any knowledge of this journey or process what it's like for us. Yes, this is normal and part of the journey, but still doesn't make it any easier. We struggle to hold onto the little time together as a family and savor every minute the 3 of us have alone. I knew that the journey would be a long and challenging one but that there would be many rewards along the way. Living it daily is financially challenging, often isolating and lonely, but on days that he comes home and shared something incredible that happened that day make it worth it. He is becoming an incredible doctor and has such a God given talent for taking care of patients and families. At home, Lillie and I cheer for him from a far and wait to catch a glimpse of his handsome face.
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| Richard recovering from ICU nights and Lillie during nap time. Few moments that they can snuggle |
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